A Step Back..

As I stand here, I look at this picture and imagine what I want to see. But as I take a step back, I see that it has already been started and I know that I can’t go back to change it. I can only continue on and make the best of what I got. It’s hard because I know how I’m not sure if I can handle this and I just don’t want to deal with it right now. I guess I’ll have to sooner or later, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say right now. Like I said before, I know this year is going to bring me some changes and challenges. I thought I would be able to handle anything that was coming at me, but I’m thinking about too many things to concentrate on this. Or maybe I’m just thinking about this too much and now I’m over thinking about this situation and it’s just getting to me. Maybe I should step back from looking at the bigger picture and look at what I’m doing. I’m going to just sleep on it and hope that it won’t be as big of a deal as it is now than when I wake up. Night.

A New Year, A Better ME.

2010 is just less than 23 hrs away and I don't know what's been happening lately but there's so many things that have been running through my mind. It's so hard for me to even make this post because all these thoughts are scattered throughout my head and I can't seem to figure out what's going on. As I think of one thought, another zips right passed me and catches my attention. It's difficult to concentrate, but hopefully this new year will be a new palette for me. I'm going to push myself to my fullest potential and not hold back anymore.

This past year, I've been lazy and just procrastinated. For myself, it's very disappointing because I know that I'm better than this. Actually seeing the potential of my friends and others, is giving me the push, to exceed in what I want to do. Nothing is going to hold me back because I know someone is going to be behind me every step of the way. We live our life, the way we see it as and it's up to you to make that change for the better. I guess it took me some time to actually realize, we got to make the best of what we have; and right now we have the time. Time is too precious to waste. Yeah, it may sound corny but it's true. There are somethings in this world that we don't want to happen and we take it for granted. I know that everyone doesn't do it intentionally, but why even think like that. Things happen for a reason, and it's for the better.

This past year has been an amazing experience. There were ups, downs, some disappointments, and some achievements. It just brought the better of me out more and hopefully 2010 can do the same (maybe even more? haha). This is gon be big, BIG things 10. It's a new year, a new better ME.

-meeerk

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays

I just want to greet everyone a Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Hope everyone is enjoying their time off and the time with their loved ones. Take that "x" out and put Christ back in your life. Merry CHRISTmas and God bless.

This holiday feels weird, but I guess things happen for a reason. Enjoy the moments that happen. Live. Love. Give.

-meeerk

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress."

So I know I said that I was going to continue my last post the next day but it has been a little more than a couple of days. I think... LOL I have no idea. I been losing track of my days, because everyday has almost been similar. It's wake up > work > chill > work > practice > sleep. That's basically it, and it's way to easy to lose track.

But anyways, I've been so occupied with my priorities and now I feel like I maybe second guessing myself. All I know is that I want to get done what I have set for me and I'm going to try my best to pull through. Knowing that New Years is just around the bend, I want to make a resolution that I'll actually do throughout the year. I had one resolution that went through for the majority of the year, I don't know why I stopped. Thinking about it, I'm kinda disappointed in myself for not being able to pull through. I know that I'm the type of person to finish and complete things. I'm making 2010 BIG things for me. I'm really going to try my best in everything I do next year because I want to improve myself, not just in the activities that I do but as a person.

Recently, I've been sitting back and watching things pass me by to quickly. I know that there are so many opportunities for me to just grab and hold on but I've been procrastinating and being lazy. Haha I think I should call it "Motivation 2010". Something has come out from this upcoming year, and I'm going to try my best because I hate the fact that I'm that person watching people chase for their dreams instead on being the person chasing their dreams. When life hits, it hits HARD. I had a pretty big reality check, and it came from some many things. Like friends, families, work, and just my social life. Actually knowing what a person is capable of doing, it can change one's perspective of life. When you hit that fork in the road, it's either you become a follower or a leader. There's this quote that I saw but I forgot who said it and I do apologize for not remembering the name but it said "If there is no struggle, there is no progress." I find that very true, because I know that nothing in life comes easy. Hard work and determination is major in being successful. I think I'll end it there now, it's getting pretty late.

What I just put down right now is probably not even 1/16th of what is going on in my head. Another day, another lesson, another day to better one's self. Don't take it for granted because the opportunity is there, so why let pass you? Imma sign off now. G'night world.

-meeerk

It's been a while.

So it's almost been 2 months since my last post. I've been busy and lazy to post something new. I always procrastinate about posting something new because something always seems to come up. There's been a lot been going through my mind and its hard for me to deal with it since we're in the busiest and the most hectic month of the year. There's too happening all at once. Hopefully I'll be able to continue and explain later. It'll just be hard since I'm making this post via blackberry. So I'll be back soon, if not happy holidays and happy new year.

-meeerk

Toronto bound in t-minus....

Haven't been able to blog lately because it has been hella busy couple of weeks and it ain't over yet. I think this month is going to be one of the busiest months for me. I've always been up n' about and I barely get anytime to just to chill n' relax at home. If I do get a day off, I was just chillin' in my room and bumpin' to music all day. I love how I can just listen to music and just let it cleanse my mind. Everytime I get a chance to do this, I just feel so refreshed with new ideas that I just want to go out and do. Haha but there's always time to create and put together.

First off, it was Kidbro's first performance by themselves at Wayne and Ceepa's Wedding Social. Great job to Kidbro, all you guys worked so hard and it paid off. Thanks for committing to the practices and putting in all your effort. It has been more than a year that YTC performed and it was the shit haha. This group is too fun to perform with and to play WCW Revenge for Nintendo 64 haha. Also big ups to Define Movement with their set, it was dope. On another note, the social wasn't even a social. It was BAR!! It felt like the bar too but better with free food. It was intense with DJ Fin-S spinnin', oh and cheap drinks. It was pretty sick and the same night, it was the first snow fall and it was hella heavy. Went to Ken's restaurant with some DS and some other people, it was too funny and the food was so good. Dropped off people, chilled at Jeph's house for a bit then headed home. I got home around 430am and KO'd.

So like what the title says, I'm "Toronto buond in t-minus..." 3 days from now and I'm hella stoked for this competition. It'll be the 4th out-of-town competition for me and the 3rd out-of-town with Sikat. I like the experience of performing in a different city because it has a different feel from performing in front of people that you know. So I'll be leaving with Nesuh and JDR friday morning at 6am -_-" That's really early for me. Meaning I have to wake up around 330 or so to get ready and head to James Richardson airport around 430. I don't know how I'm going to get any sleep that night. I remember last year going to Edmonton, I was too excited to sleep that night and I was so cashed the next day. But hopefully I'll be ready early so I get enough shut eye before my flight. I don't know if this is going to be weird or exciting to hear but I just found out that I'll be competing against my 3rd cousin. Haha I pretty excited to see how see dances because I've only seen a few of her dance videos but never in person. So I'm pretty pumped for this competition, but it's going to only last for the weekend *womp womp* haha. But I'm happy I'll be travelling to another province, I guess just travelling in general.

The set is coming together quite nicely, can't wait to do it. The pieces are so creative, haha I just want to see it on youtube already. I kinda don't want to perform it, but watch it as a spectator. I guess we just have to wait and see til the competition. But overall, that has been what I've been doing these past couple weeks. Sleep > eat > work > dance > eat > sleep > eat > work > dance and so on. This is fun, and its only going to get better...

make it or break it... make it.

The past couple of days I've been way too tired. I barely get the amount of sleep that I usually had when I wasn't working. From being able to sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon and having to get use to waking up around 6 or 7, is a huge difference. Also from sleeping at 3 or 4 in the morning, is not good for my body. My sleeping pattern is so messed, I gotta find ways to slip in a nap here and there haha.

So Kidbro practices had just started last week and WHOA. I see a lot of potential and I know these kids wanna go big. Pushing them to their limit and going hard so that you can see them grow is so satisfying. To see them grow as a group and as individuals makes me happy that they love dancing so much more. It's crazy to see the growth from performing beside the other guys, to just seeing them practicing by themselves. I'm too excited to see what's in store for them for the up coming year. I see big things for them.

Met up with the choreographers and OH BOY. You don't even know; it's coming together slowly but with the minds that we have. It scares me to see in my mind to know what we're going to pull off. This is going to be one heck of a year for both teams and I'm too excited to put it altogether. Looking it at a different perspective is awesome, because it's something new to try. Making it that more hype for us to get together and share our ideas. Can't wait to hit studio. Everyone watch out, we coming.

On a side note, away from dancing. I feel the cold temperatures coming in the morning and that means that fall is just around the corner; also meaning that summer is slowly coming to an end or its probably over. And I'm just denying myself that it isn't and I don't want to deal with the whack weather that fall has to offer. I want to travel to somewhere warm and sunny. I don't think that I enjoyed the summer to he fullest and I'm missing it now. But I can't turn back time now; I guess I just have to wait till next year -__-"

PS.

When reality hits, it hits. Big time. When something as big as what had happened does happen, it just makes you just change your whole perspective of life. How everything that you thought cannot happen, can make you think about the possibilities and chances that CAN happen. Time is never something that a person should take it for granted. You know that it's there and there's a lot of it but how do you know it'll be there tomorrow, or in an hour, minute, second. Never think of time you wasted, always think of the time that you can be using. Never leave something to the last minute, enjoy every minute. Live for tomorrow, today, now. Nothing is holding you back, if anything it's you. Be happy and make the most of what you got, because I bet there's nothing else that you don't have right now that can satisfy what you already have. With that said, appreciate all the little things because those are the things that you'll miss the most.

-meeerk